#truth Ty @wbprotection
According to researchers from someplace (I’m too tired to look it up, I just remember hearing it on an episode of ‘Chelsea Lately’), Teen pregnancies are down to their lowest levels in over a decade, and feel that the sluggish economy and lack of jobs is contributing to this decline.
While that might be true, I have a theory about what other factors might be contributing to this decline and what the result might be later on. You see, there are a few things that keep happening in this financial disarray we are in: Eating, Drinking, and Fucking…and the last one is the main focus of the topic at hand. Not surprised? Good.
Sex is the one major constant in the ebb and flow of this world. Somewhere in the world, someone is getting their freak on. It could be happening as I type this blog. It could be happening as YOU are reading this blog.
It could be happening after reading this sentence!
…or not. Life is funny like that.
Getting back to my theory…
The number of teens that are getting knocked up is on the decline, and has been for quite sometime, and I think that is a great thing. That’s how it should be – a teen shouldn’t become a parent before their time, and before they get their shit together. But as we are celebrating this good news, there is still one thing that we are overlooking – teens are still having sex.
While the number of teens getting knocked up is going down, teen having sex is still a constant. They never really stopped fucking. So does this mean that they are using protection? Perhaps, and rightfully so, but condoms and birth control can take you so far.
My belief, is that the actual reason there are lesser teen mom’s and dad’s has to do with anti-abortion laws, the cancelling of MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’ and the bible. It’s these three reasons that I believe have lead to the backdoor fun we love to watch in porn movies, but don’t want to admit we like it.
And there are women who love anal. Don’t you dare try to deny that shit, you all know I speak the truth damn it!
Now I know what you are thinking – “PlayBoyMan has done lost his fucking mind! – AGAIN!”, right? No not really. Keep reading, I’ll explain everything.
As I’m sure most of you will agree, anti-abortion laws are for lack of a better phrase, true donkey shit, being served by assholes who think their jobs gives them the right to tell women what they can and can’t do with their bodies (which pisses me off to no end).
And oddly, some people think that these bullshit laws will reduce the number of abortions in the states, and in turn aid in lowering the number of teens that get preggers, and having sex altogether. It’s a great plan, right? No. not really.
Anti-abortion laws just basically encourage creativity in the moment of sexual gratification. In this case – pulling out and cumming ON their partner, instead of IN.
Condoms can fail and sometimes the pill can too, so the best way to ensure that you get your freak on without slipping on past the goalie, is to aim outside the box, pun intended. If that sounds gross to you, so be it, and I’m sad that your sex life is lackluster at best…No, that wasn’t a joke, I’m sad for those of you that don’t know this. And seeing that this bullshit type of law limits your options, the alternative of making a mess, is a good idea.
Let’s move on to the cancellation of MTV’s bullshit en-masse that is ‘teen mom 3’’.
When MTV aired that crazy-stupid show, It was the start of a clusterfuck that grew in the minds of people who don’t like to use their brains, that this show is amazing, when in fact, it’s a true piece of shit…And it was not doing anyone any good. Ever since that show aired, you actually had some teens believing that it was OK to have a kid at such young an age, that it was so easy, and that they knew what they were doing. To putt it simply: ‘Teen Mom’ glamourized having a baby as a teen. To this day, despite the decline, the majority of teens who are becoming parents live in the southern United States.
Thankfully, Teens appear to be paying attention even more now, and are learning to take the proper precautions when it comes to sex. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a stupid teenager on ‘The Maury Show’, trying really hard to get a bun in the oven. I don’t miss it, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this. And have you seen those teens on that show? Fucking yikes. And who fucks for a Hamburger and a bag of chips from a fast food restaurant ? they live with their parents for fuck sakes…They can’t get a meal there, sans sex?!
Whoa wait…I’m getting off topic.
Anyway – thank you MTV – you finally did something right for a change: ending a bullshit reality TV show that shouldn’t have aired in the first place. Wait…scratch that – If that show didn’t air, we would’ve NEVER got this on DVD:
…which by the way, is a pretty good porn movie. Give it a viewing, it’s not bad, and Farrah’s tits looked better before the surgery. Yes, you did just read that. That was something I actually typed. Also, there’s anal sex in it. This fits the blog nicely, doesn’t it?
And now, let’s move on to the 3rd reason as to why I think Teens are enjoying giving up the butt – The Bible. Yes, I’m giving the bible props for teens enjoying anal sex.
No, Mr. Wonka – I am not.
You see, there is something about the Bible that a lot of people don’t get – its LOADED with contradictions. It’s goes against itself on many levels, and people who stand by this thing refuse to acknowledge that fact. God is infallible, being gay is a sin, eating bacon is 100% wrong, as is divorce…the list goes on and on and on.
But…There IS something that the bible ACTUALLY GOT RIGHT, and I, an agnostic, I’m 100% ok with it.
You see there is a loophole in the bible, that while it doesn’t like it when two guys do it, does not forbid it when a man and a woman do it.
Can you guess what it is? Come on now, the answer is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
It’s Anal Sex. Yes. It’s true – if you are a Heterosexual couple or in a relationship, serious or casual, you can enjoy the butt sex all ya want, which makes as much sense as installing a freezer in an artic research station. I mean for serious, If you are straight, you can enjoy anal outside of marriage, but if you are gay, you can’t do it? And then you have to get married before you can have sex in the vagina, because sex outside of marriage is a sin, so either way unless you put a ring on it first, you are going to hell.
For serious, what the fuck are we doing reading this ass-backwards shit?!
Oops, I’m getting off the topic again…I think.
The bottom line is that this loophole, called “God’s Loophole”, which in this context is also a contradiction (God is infallible, thus no loopholes, remember?), is the saving grace for teenagers. It makes zero sense, has as much reason as the idea of drinking water from a toilet, and it’s the driving force as to why so many people are fucked up in the world, with the allowing teens to get their fuck on without having to take care of a baby in 9 months, which is still a sin, according to the bible.
No wonder we are all going to hell – we can’t win no matter what. Good thing I give a silent prayer to Cthulhu every now and then. I miss that dude.
This is what teens are coming to accept as the new normal. To avoid becoming parents before their time, they are OK with anal sex, and coating their lovers in cum, or maybe giving them a Anal Creampie. Yes – that’s also a thing. How do you not know this stuff?
I strongly believe that in 2014, researchers are going to discover that teenagers are having more anal sex. I think this theory of mine will be proven to be accurate, and the churches will be powerless to say anything about it, because it’s not forbidden in the bible to do that, unless you are gay, then it’s wrong.
Man, that bible is a really fucked up book.
And there it is. The end of the last blog for 2013. I hope 2014 is full of awesomeness for all of us, and I thank you for reading my blog. I hope you enjoyed it.
Happy New Year!
There wasn’t a lot of boobies or butts in this blog, so I’d thought I’d rewards ya with one of my favorite YouTube videos. Here’s “Because Boobs” by Psychostick, a song about boobs. Enjoy.
…And I want YOU to stop blaming everyone around you for YOUR MISTAKES AND FUCKUPS. Guess we won’t get what we want anytime soon, huh?
Abortion seems to be the only medical procedure that people want to deny you based on how you got in that situation.
Drove drunk, got in an accident and need an organ transplant? No problem.
Messing around with a gun, accidentally shoot yourself in the leg and need surgery? Of course.
Smoke tobacco for most of your life and need treatment for lung cancer? Yep.
Climb a tree, fall out and break your leg? We’ll fix that right up.
Have sex and get pregnant when you don’t want to be? YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS SITUATION AND YOU DESERVE NO MEDICAL HELP OR COMPASSION! THIS IS YOUR FAULT AND YOU WILL DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!"
- I can have sex with whoever I want
- Health care covered my birth control
- If a condom breaks I can go buy the morning after pill without showing ID
- It costs me $0 for STI tests
- If I got pregnant I could get an abortion
- I can marry anyone I want, whether they’re a boy or girl
That’s it. everybody go home. Pack your bags, we goin to canada. Even if they have bagged milk, idec rn
Bayonetta: Bloody Fate anime trailer
Platinum Games’ Bayonetta gets an anime adaptation from GONZO.
I used this article as a handout in a presentation about abortion for one of my classes along with a fact sheet about the demographics of people who seek abortions. My presentation was rated as “too opinionated.”
The PTC since 1995 has found and encouraged all kinds of things and issues to complain and protest about. From Sex on TV, to violence in Video Games, Porn, and every little thing that is CLEARLY made for ADULTS to enjoy, there is seldom a time you won’t hear from them.
This time they have turned their attention to this year’s MTV VMA’s. As it turns out, they didn’t really like the performances of Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus, or all the commercials that were aired this past Sunday (8/25).
I have their complaint as it appears on their Website:
LOS ANGELES (August 26, 2013) – The Parents Television Council issued the following statement in response to last evening’s MTV Video Music Awards (VMA).
“MTV has once again succeeded in marketing sexually charged messages to young children using former child stars and condom commercials — while falsely rating this program as appropriate for kids as young as 14. This is unacceptable,” said PTC Director of Public Policy Dan Isett.
“This much is absolutely clear: MTV marketed adults-only material to children while falsely manipulating the content rating to make parents think the content was safe for their children.
“MTV continues to sexually exploit young women by promoting acts that incorporate ‘twerking’ in a nude-colored bikini. How is this image of former child star Miley Cyrus appropriate for 14-year-olds?
“How is it appropriate for children to watch Lady Gaga strip down to a bikini in the opening act?
“How is it appropriate for 14-year-olds to see a condom commercial and a promo for an R-rated movie during the first commercial break?
“This content would likely not be given a forum if it were on a broadcast network. Yet MTV continues to push limits because it’s a cable network. But that does not mean MTV’s decisions have no consequences, especially for the millions of children who were targeted by MTV.
PTC Advisory Board Member and former BET Executive Paul Porter said, “The Miley Cyrus/Robin Thicke performance simply substituted talent with sex. Viacom has a set of corporate broadcast standards that were obviously broken in this case for financial gain. While the performance was shocking to the audience, MTV approved it during the show run prior to the broadcast. Heads should roll at MTV.”
That last part: “Heads should roll at MTV” – Not gonna happen. The Nielsen Ratings for the VMA’s was UP 60% from the year before, the only thing that’s going to be rolling at MTV, is the advertising money into the network, most likely for next years VMA’s.
I also noticed an interesting bit in the statement:
We urge Congress to pass the Television Consumer Freedom Act which will give parents and consumers a real solution for future MTV VMA programs – the ability to choose and pay for cable networks that they want vs. having to pay for networks they don’t want. After MTV’s display last night, it’s time to give control back to consumers,”
While it would be nice to be able to pick what channels I want and have interest in seeing in my channel lineup, it STILL won’t solve the “problem” the PTC claims exists.
As was stated in PTC’s douche-y whining, The programming was rated as TV-14, and as it turns out EVERYONE seems to have forgotten what the TV-14 rating even means anymore.
So, here is the definition of the TV-14 rating as taken from the TV Guidelines Website, http://www.tvguidelines.org/ratings.htm:
Parents Strongly Cautioned
This program contains some material that many parents would find unsuitable for children under 14 years of age.Parents are strongly urged to exercise greater care in monitoring this program and are cautioned against letting children under the age of 14 watch unattended.This program may contain one or more of the following: intensely suggestive dialogue (D), strong coarse language (L), intense sexual situations (S), or intense violence (V).
So as you can see, the problem isn’t really the VMA’s, the performances at the VMA’s, or even the MTV Network – the problem is with THE PARENTS.
This is a recurring issue that is happening way to often with just about anything that is made DIRECTLY FOR ADULTS TO ENJOY, but that’s a whole other topic to discuss. Let’s keep the focus on the issue at hand: Parents getting up in arms over a TV show that doesn’t have content suitable for kids, despite the fact the rating for the show clearly tells you what you are getting into.
Too many parents are turning that part of their brain that controls common sense off, thus resulting in these ridiculous outbursts. The VMA’s have had sexually charged performances for years now, so why act like this is a new thing? It’s not. For a parent to think that a TV Network which has over the last 20-odd years, aired content that is clearly never been for kids, would actually and suddenly air a program for kids to watch, is like putting the DVD of the R-Rated version of Digital Playgrounds “Pirates”, into your blu-ray player, in the hopes that with all the edits and cropping done to it, will be suitable for your Kids to watch.
Spoiler Alert: Both versions of that movie, will NEVER be suitable for kids AT ALL. Don’t do it.
The TV and Radio Networks in the US, let alone around the world are in the business of entertaining TV viewers – it’s their bread and butter, and the majority of people who watch TV are ADULTS, not kids, hence the existence of the 18-35 key demo. While there are networks tailored to entertaining kids, the parents are into watching content made for them, and for some reason are not able to make the connection that the content THEY enjoy, isn’t really suitable for their offspring’s impressionable minds.
This is what a gross lack of Common Sense and rational thought looks like.
So, how does a parent solve this “problem”? Believe it or not, there really is no need to pass legislation, or file a compliant to the FCC. There is no need to boycott a TV Network – in fact, there are TWO solutions to this problem:
Yes, that’s right. You see, if the parents or the kiddies are watching something that they don’t like, or might be too much to watch, just change the channel, or turn the TV off and find something else to do.
That is the purpose of the TV remote: to change channels, adjust the volume, and turn the TV on or off. It amazes me how many people have forgotten that.
Unlike passing a Bill through congress, it can be done in an instant, and it’s free – how could you not like that? Who wouldn’t like that? Who wouldn’t enjoy applying that idea to this “major problem”?
The Parents Television Council, that’s who.
In closing, if you are a parent or are friends with someone who is, and you or they see a program that isn’t something kids should be watching, or the show has a part that in it they shouldn’t watch, just do one or both of the things I mentioned above.
The only time Common Sense really works, is when you actually USE IT.