A personal moment about me….

I’ve never asked for much in life, mainly because for a long time, I thought I wasn’t worthy of much. I always felt that because I didn’t do what others have done, or didn’t have what others have, that I would never get it, and I would never be better at anything.

But now, that is starting to change for me. Instead of thinking less of myself, I’m starting to think more of myself. I’m starting to believe that I must create my own path, instead of following someone else’s. Sometimes it can be a struggle to feel this way, because I’ve used to the same shit on a different day, but I love this new way of thinking. I see more possibilities for myself and those around me, I’, becoming less and less scared of change, and more of the person I want to be.

What really made this all worthwhile, is finding love. I thought it would never happen to me, that I would be alone for the rest of my life, that no one would ever love me, or get me 100%. And that turned around when I met Annie. She is the love of my life. She makes me feel alive. She makes me feel like I can do anything, and I think the world of her.

She is the reason I’m this better person.

We are not perfect in any way, shape or form, and we both bring a lot of baggage to the table - but we also have the one thing that keeps us together: our love for each other.

I love you Annie. To the moon and back. You’ve made me a better person.

I Love you, forever.


Stay Strong @ChristyMack, stay strong.


This morning, I heard about the attack of Adult Performer Christy Mack. I had heard that something had happened to her last night, but today, I learned the horrible news.

For those of you that don’t know, she and one of her friends who was at her house at the time on Friday (8/8/2014), was attacked by her ex-boyfriend and recent former MMA fighter Jonathan Koppenhaver, known as “War Machine” in the MMA community. Her injuries are severe: 18 broken bones in her face, Broken teeth, eyes swollen shut, bruised lip, and a ruptured liver. She can barely talk, and is unable to walk. This is what she looks like now:


The following is a statement from Chrissy herself:

At about 2 a.m. Friday morning, Jon Koppenhaver arrived announced to my home in Las Vegas, NV. After he broke up with me in May, he moved out of my house and back to San Diego. When he arrived, he found myself and one other fully clothed and unarmed in the house. Without a single word spoken, he began beating my friend; once he was finished, he sent my friend away and turned his attention to me. He made me undress and shower in front of him then dragged me out and beat my face. I have no recollection of how many times i was hit. I just know the injuries that resulted from my beating. My injuries include 18 broken bones around my eyes, my nose is broken in 2 places. I am missing teeth and several more are broken. I am unable to chew, or see out of my left eye. My speech is slurred from my swelling and lack of teeth. I have a fractured rib and severely ruptured liver from a kick to my side. My leg is so badly injured, I have not been able to walk on my own. I also attained several lesions from a knife he got from my kitchen. He pushed the knife into me in some areas including my hand, ear and head. He also sawed much of my hair off with his dull knife.

After some time, the knife broke off of the handle and continued to threaten me with the blade. I believed I was going to die. He has beaten me many times before, but never this badly. He took my phone and cancelled all of my plans for the following week to make sure no one would worry about my whereabouts. He told me he was going to rape me, but was disappointed in himself when he couldn’t get hard. After another hit or two, he left me on the floor bleeding and shaking, holding my side from the pain of my rib. He left the room and went to the kitchen where I could hear him ruffling through my drawers. Assuming he was finding a sharper, more stable knife to end my life, I ran out the back door, shutting it behind me so the dogs did not run inside to tip him off. I hopped the fence to the gold course behind my house and ran into a neighboring house. naked and afraid he would catch me, I kept running through the neighborhood running through the doors. Finally, one answered and I was brought to the hospital and treated for my injuries.

I would like to thank everyone for their support through this rough time. I am healing fast and well, and I appreciate a lot of the prayers and visits I have received over the past few days. After many months of fear and pressure to keep this man happy, although I fear for my life, I feel that I can no longer put myself in this situation. The cheating by him nearly everyday, and almost weekly abuse, is now more than I can stand. There is a $10k reward for the capture of Jonathan Koppenhaver at this time. Please report any information to your local police.

Thank you.

- Christy Mack

The heartless bastard that attacked her is on the run from police. His “reason” for not turning himself in? According to his twitter, it’s because “The cops will never give me fair play, never believe me. 

Let’s look at the last 3 tweets, nicely edited what my own personal dose of common sense:

Warmachine Tweets

This guy is an asshole. He isn’t fooling anyone. If there “was another guy”, why didn’t he stop him? If she wasn’t attacked by him, why didn’t she call him for help? There are so many questions than answers here, and to offer this dickstain any support in any way is an insult to everyone.

There are 7 warrants out for his arrest:

– 2 felony batteries, 1 for strangulation
– 2 felony domestic violence with great bodily injury
– felony coercion with the threat of force
– felony assault with a deadly weapon
– misdemeanor assault with a deadly weapon

Serious charges. And not ones to be taken lightly. It bothers me to no end that there are people like this in the world. Its not funny, or human in way to do something like this to any woman. I am doing my best not to show any anger in this post, which is not an easy thing to do when bullshit like this happens, but it’s necessary to keep calm, because this is something that we must deal with. He had no reason to be there. He wasn’t going to propose marriage to her. There was no other guy in this situation.

Christy Mack didn’t deserve this in any aspect, and if you say she did, or think that this was ok, then congrats – you are a perfect asshole. And porn has nothing to do with this incident. That BS website that I know of and won’t mention, because its not about them posted about this, but they did something at the end of their blog that bothers me:

“The [name redacted] asks that you take a moment to pray for Christy and others that are suffering from the dangerous lifestyle that comes from life in the porn industry. “

Bullshit. Let be give you the actual facts from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

  1. One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.
  2. An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year.
  3. 85% of domestic violence victims are women.
  4. Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
  5. Females who are 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence.
  6. Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. It is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, race, religion, nationality or educational background.

Violence against women is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, and thus is part of a systematic pattern of dominance and control.

Domestic violence results in physical injury, psychological trauma, and sometimes death. The consequences of domestic violence can cross generations 
and truly last a lifetime.

As you can clearly see, PORN DOES NOT FIT INTO THIS PROBLEM. To say that it does, is shameful. This is about people who think it is OK to beat people up to the point of death or near-death. It’s not OK. These kind of people are shameless, and need to be brought to justice.

And to close – to Christy Mack: I have never met you, but I have heard a lot about you on the internet. It saddens me to no end that this happened to you, and I wish you a speedy recovery. Be safe.

–Patrick Blake Mason

If you need more information or to get help, please call:

A moment of Common Sense from @SimWise - Circa 2012

This is blog post entry from former Model turned soon to be Mom, Alex Simwise (@SimWise), titled “To Tit or Not to Tit”, posted on her tumblr on Oct. 3, 2012. I won’t give you the details - just know that it’s important to read it slowly, and how it relates to some topics at hand today.

Original post can be found here. Enjoy.

As someone who has been objectified for the past 10 or so years I can say with all honesty that it’s not that bad. As life events go it’s somewhere between a sunny day at Thorpe Park and root canal surgery on the pleasure/pain scale. It was a choice. Now that I am older it is my choice not to be. I pulled out from that world like a Catholic penis, and now… now I am different. I dress differently, hang out with different (read: nicer) people and don’t go out to the same places… but far be it for me to declare that everyone should do as I do. I don’t have that authority and neither should you.

Nothing offends me more than white knights (apart from maybe Jimmy Saville’s face and the smell of dead animal) or people who stand up earnestly on behalf of ‘others’ best interests when those others didn’t ask for help in the first place. Guys (and girls) high up on their white horse claiming to be womankind’s saviour when actually we are doing alright, thanks. It really does my head in. At the moment the world seems awash with PC types campaigning for the end of objectification, but unless they get rid of the whole of the publishing, entertainment, and advertising worlds, respectively, it seems a bit of a silly battle, and not one that everyone wants.

Objectification is a funny thing. Everyone is so set on its terrible social implications that no-one ever admits that sometimes it feels quite good. No-one wants to accept that some women like to be objectified, that they do it because they want to be. Even I liked it for a bit. It was a confidence boost, an ego massage, a moment of swagger. It felt good to be wanted… until I went off and found someone that I wanted to be with more and then it felt a bit icky. So I stopped. I don’t get my tits out anymore, not because I was told to or because of some moral high ground, but because I got to a point where I’d get them out and my mind was all like “Nahhhhh mate… this feels weird…” so I gave them to my boyfriend as a HBO exclusive. That’s not to say I wouldn’t like the choice to air the puppies on the (extremely unlikely) chance I’d want to do it again. Choice is a freedom that we all should have, even if it is just a minutely remote possibility.

It goes without saying that some women like being objectified and some women don’t, but I think just as the women who DON’T want to be objectified should have the choice not to be, women who DO want to be should have the choice to unleash their breasts on the world if they so desire, as long as it IS a choice and they are not being forced. One group cannot seek to cancel out the other as that is not true equality, it is the repression of a woman’s very valid desires. Some women want to be sexy and it is very puritanical of those against it to deny them that. In theory, women should be allowed to be whatever they want as long as it’s not like, the next Rose West (although she did have her merits - a dogged loyalty to knee socks being one of them).

My advice is to treat each person as an individual rather than try to repress and generalise. Just because one woman is offended by something doesn’t mean they all are. Allow us all our freedoms to be whoever we want to be, whether that’s a gamer, a stripper, a stay at home mum, an undertaker or a badger baiter… but do so without intruding on the freedoms of others. It’s a delicate balance, but one that is not corrected by one outspoken person speaking for us all.

I may not be glamour modelling’s biggest cheerleader (and have a complicated relationship with it at best) but I’d never advocate its removal from society all-together, which is what a lot of these things (anti-booth babes and anti-Page 3 bollocks) are conspiring to do. In many ways, this attitude that anything sexual a women might do ‘is degrading’ is just as backwards. It’s totally disregarding a side of womanhood that DOES EXIST and is not getting us anywhere in the process… all it’s doing is making a few self-righteous people feel good about themselves whilst they poo on a lot of other people’s parties (eww, scat-fest). A job is not demeaning or degrading if a woman actively pursues it and does it by choice. Remember that.

I happen to love tits, whether they be in the paper, at a games expo, or in a video game. They don’t offend me because being offended by tits is really fucking juvenile and stupid. If one can’t accept that giant tits are part of what makes the video games world go round, then what the hell are you doing playing video games?! Video games are meant to be fun, light-hearted and NOT BASED ON REAL LIFE WHATSOEVER. From Silent Hill’s nurse tits to Dead or Alive’s giant inflatable tits, via Lara Croft and that weird-looking chick from Bayonetta, unreal video-game tits have made gaming a pleasurable experience for me since as far as I can remember. This logic that the removal of tits from video games would make the industry ‘more acceptable’ is bollocks. As long as there are brat kids blowing each other’s heads off and calling each other ‘Thunder Fags’ on COD, gaming will never be acceptable.

And with that I’ll bid adieu and crawl back in my hole to ponder how boring games would be without tits, when they were literally the only good thing about being a games journalist.

Sim x

Upcoming changes….

Hello Everyone.

Firstly, I would like to say thanks you everyone that has enjoyed all the work, podcasts, blogs, tweets, etc, that I have shared with all of you through the years.

After saying that, I’m pretty sure that most of you are thinking the following:


Look, just relax, okay? I’m not hanging my pervert hat up anytime soon. I’m just saying thanks for enjoying what I do and share with you. Felt it best to tell you all that first, before I continue.

Now, on to the business at hand….

In the coming weeks, I’m going to make quite a number of changes to my blogs. These will include changes in the design and layout of the blogs, as well as some tweaks to the way they function.

Here are the changes in detail:

Perverted Brain blog:

  1. The WordPress and Tumblr versions of the blog will get a new theme.
  2. The Tumblr blog will have the option to reply directly to blog postings.
  3. Anonymous questions will be allowed. (tumblr)

PlayBoyMan’s Big Boobie Blog:

  1. No more public submissions. Very few did it, and the ones that did, kept sending me a “Blue Waffle”. Fucking gross.
  2. Theme change.

The Hall of Babes blog:

  1. Theme change (possibly)
  2. No more public submissions. Entries into the hall will be chosen by me and me alone.

PlayBoyMan Games blog:

  1. MAJOR theme change. This is by far the most noobish-looking blog I manage.
  2. Blog updates will post to Facebook, as well as Twitter.

Chronicles of Asstrology blog:

  1. No more public submissions. Never got any.

The Gaming Blog of GodOfKonckers:

  1. Readers can ask questions.
  2. Blog updates will post to Facebook, as well as Twitter.
  3. redesign the theme.

Voice of PlayBoyMan blog:

  1. Anonymous questions are no longer welcome.
  2. Theme change

And sadly, ONE blog with be getting the axe: The Blog at Destructoid. It’s already gotten the final post, and will be removed from my list of URLs. The list of URLs I have will also be reorganized to make it look more appealing and sorted.

In addition, there will be some new things I’ll introduce in the coming weeks:

-A new Paper.li newsletter!

Yes, I’m starting another Paper.li newsletter. This one will be made for gamers to enjoy, as a way of helping to keep my twitch and hitbox peeps in the loop.

A new Blog for my deviantArt portfolio.

Most of the artwork I do is listed on deviantArt as Adult-themed, and can only be viewed if you are a registered user of deviantArt. This blog will serve as a “bypass”, for those who don’t want to sign up to another site, and will also serve as a backup/alternative the artwork.

And that’s not even all the changes I’m working on.

I said it before, but it bares repeating: Thank you all for enjoying all the content I’ve shared in my digital life. This is just the beginning.





I don’t care if these are porn stars. 
Anyone who looks down on D/s, saying it’s abusive or equally ridiculous things, look at this. A Dominant taking care of a submissive because that’s what she needs at that moment. It’s honest and pure comfort. Sorry to disappoint, but I have never felt something quite like this in a vanilla relationship.
You want her definition of safety? Being able to hold onto his forearm and knowing his fingertips won’t leave the nape of her neck until she has her self-control back. 
And the kiss on her forehead? It’s sweet. It’s necessary. It’s reassuring. It makes her close her eyes and realize, yet again, that he knows every bit of her and will never let her lose herself.

I will reblog this EVERYTIME it hits my dash.





I don’t care if these are porn stars. 

Anyone who looks down on D/s, saying it’s abusive or equally ridiculous things, look at this. A Dominant taking care of a submissive because that’s what she needs at that moment. It’s honest and pure comfort. Sorry to disappoint, but I have never felt something quite like this in a vanilla relationship.

You want her definition of safety? Being able to hold onto his forearm and knowing his fingertips won’t leave the nape of her neck until she has her self-control back. 

And the kiss on her forehead? It’s sweet. It’s necessary. It’s reassuring. It makes her close her eyes and realize, yet again, that he knows every bit of her and will never let her lose herself.

I will reblog this EVERYTIME it hits my dash.


“I Regret…”

If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

Bruce Lee

“I Regret”

That’s a sentence most of us have heard in one way or another in our lives. We’ve either heard others say it, or we have said it ourselves. No matter where you have been, or what you have done, those two words have been spoken.

“I Regret”

I myself have mentioned them, and felt the gravity of those words too many times in my life. I had so many chances to do something different. So many chances to take the other option, to take the road untraveled, so many chances to take a risk, and walk a different path.

When I was 15, I had the idea of making my first video game. It wasn’t much – a sequel to one of my favorite NES games, Robowarrior. It wasn’t much – a few icons here and there of powerups, and maybe a few bosses. I never took the chance to see that game to fruition.

The very first time I had the chance to find someone, was when I was 16. She was a woman named Stephanie, and she used to work at a retail chain that has been long gone for years now. She was cute, and I think she liked me, but I never took the chance to ask her out.

The first time I had the chance to run and own my first business, was when I was 25. I was a great employee, and I did my best to be good at that job – and I did an even better job of fucking it all up and getting fired.

Now, at 35, I am here, making a video game, and building up a business of my own, all while having a great relationship with a wonderful woman, who I think the world of.

Why is it so different now? Because I stop regretting my past mistakes, missed chances, and what could’ve been.

There are far too many people in this crazy ass world, who live with a ton of regret in their lives, and we use that as a reason as to why we can’t get what we want. Why we settle for what we can get, instead of working hard to get what we want. Why we back away from a challenge, and why we flight, instead of fight.

The one thing that holds us down, and stops us from moving forward, is regret, and the more we engage and keep it company, and the more miserable we become in life.

I’ve looked back at my life too many times, and seen all the roads I should’ve taken, all the missed chances and fuck ups in my short life, and ever time I do, I keep thinking that this is all I am. This is all I will ever be. This is my empire of dirt.

And I say, after all this time, being alive for 35 years and counting: FUCK THAT SHIT!

Life is always what you make of it. If you make a mistake, learn from it, don’t be bound to it. If you took one path, its never too late to turn around a try the other path, and if that path sucks ass, make your own damn path.

You’ve seen what happens when you give up on something, so don’t give up. Keep going, and see it through. Never settle for anything lees or shit you don’t need.

Some of that above my sound like a clique from a self help book, but it’s not.

Stop regretting what could’ve been. As long as you are living and breathing, its never too late to turn things around, to take that chance untaken, that what “I wish I could” moment into that “I fucking did that shit, and it was awesome” moment.

That’s what has finally happened after all this time with me. It has its share of ups and downs, its slow and fast moments, and of course it’s scary as a watching a woman getting fucked super hard in the ass with very little lube in a porno you brought from the Adults only section on eBay (no, that did not happen to me), but no matter what the end game is, no matter what the outcome, there is one thing that you will start saying after awhile:

“Yes, I’m doing that, and I don’t regret a damn thing”

That’s how I feel right this moment. And its wonderful.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend time with my lady. And if you didn’t get that NIN reference in this blog, you know nothing of good ass music, you arrogant punk.


The fate of my content….

I was asked over the weekend about my blogs and podcasts, as to if I would keep all that content going, now that I have a girlfriend. It’s not uncommon for people who have blogs like I do to close it all up once they get involved with someone. It has happened before.

Let me put your minds and boners at peace – wait, that came out wrong. Let me put your minds at ease, and keep your boners hard. Yes, that’s better.

The content isn’t going ANYWHERE. You all got to know me and my awesomeness because of what I do on the internet, and I can’t give that up. It’s a part of me that I love to express as much and as often as I can.

All of my work is for you, my internet peeps to enjoy. That was always the plan in the first place. Hell, that’s how me and my girlfriend met. She enjoys my body of work as much as I do, and has never been bothered by it in any way.

I’m a lucky man. Smile

The Perverted Brain and the Voice of PlayBoyMan blogs are my Soapboxes – I’ll always have something to say about something, no matter what my situation is. My GodOfKonckers blog and my Dtoid blog are my gaming blogs, where I talk about all things Video Games, which I have been playing since I was a KID (I’ll be 35 this year btw), and will most likely continue to enjoy until the world ends, or I die, whichever comes first, and won’t come anytime soon.

The Boobies and Booty blogs, along with the Hall of Babes blog are, and always have been for you guys and gals (yes, women enjoy my blogs too). They are like a beacon that says “You like tits and asses? So do I. Let me share the with you.”.

As for the people I follow on Twitter and Facebook, I’m not going to unfollow/unfriend any of you. I follow quite a number of Pornstars, Cam models, Pinup models, Gamers, and admins of Titty/booty blogs and websites – and a few news sources from various topics – you are not getting an unfollow from me anytime soon.

In short – all the content that you’ve all come to love and enjoy, is staying put, and I’m going to keep on working on it. I do it for all of you, and I won’t stop until I can’t do it anymore. It’s fun, it’s amazing, and I fucking rock doing it all.

So relax and enjoy the blogs.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna spend time with my lady. It’s our one month anniversary, and I want to spend the day with her.


Best comment about the unemployed…

This is a quote I read on the Huffington Post (3/29/2014), about The unemployment benefits that the House GOP REFUSES TO VOTE ON, because they say it’s “Too late to pass”. Read it, RT, Share, Repost, and if you haven’t already, start giving a damn about those who have less than you.

To understand the plight of the unemployed, first you must have compassion and an understanding that there are mouths to feed, bills to pay and a family to care for.

You have to have empathy, to imagine yourself in the same position and the amount of heartache and feelings of abandonment that a rejection of a simple dignity like not having hope, then thrown out on the street families, broken and castaways through sheer callous contempt disguised as a warped sense of fiscal conservatism. You have to realize that a government of the people firstly must be for the people irrespective of a job lagging recovery. You have to weigh your convictions by justifying why massively profitable corporations are entitled to subsidies, grants and ridiculously low tax rates. Why people drowned in wealth and avarice deserve tax loopholes not available to most of the population. You have to imagine the sheer sorrow when a parent has to go without food so their child might eat and the dread they face as even food stamp recipient is being maligned and the poor victims of economic failures that have stretched back decades are by no fault of their own, the end result of bad political ideologies that value the greedy and shun the needy.

Real families are in a world of pain day in day out, people who have put in the hours, sometimes toiling for years at low paying jobs that found themselves cut loose from dignity and the security of work when the economy went into freefall in 2008 after the slowly unwinding disaster that started in 2005 destroyed the world economic system, yet the rulers of Wall Street paid no penalty, shared bonuses from their Main Street bailout and then refused to invest back into the economy that is Main Street.

The unemployed are not disposable beings; they are victims of failures that starts at the top levels of political and corporate America.

Every congressman receives a daily meal allowance of $148, every day, 365 days of the year, they voted to raise it last year, they receive $174000 a year in salary, free first class air travel, either a chauffeur driven government limo, or they can take the cost in cash. There’s not one benefit they would give up but they are prepared to see millions of starving families as a viable prospect without even hinting that they themselves should sacrifice 1 cent. Nearly everyone in congress is a millionaire and that wealth detachment of never suffering throughout their lives breeds a cold callousness bordering on disgust at the lives average Americans lead and no concept that poverty is a state of permanent pain that is fracturing the psyche of the nation.

If for no other reason than a sane economical reason at least a reality check would force these elitists to acknowledge that unemployment benefits are spent completely and store owners depend on that money to hire more staff but empathy would be the better motive.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/27/unemployment-extension-_n_5043679.html

And not to worry - I’ll start blogging my own work soon. Just felt I should share this.

Dear Parents…Your teens are enjoying ANAL SEX…a lot…I think…

According to researchers from someplace (I’m too tired to look it up, I just remember hearing it on an episode of ‘Chelsea Lately’), Teen pregnancies are down to their lowest levels in over a decade, and feel that the sluggish economy and lack of jobs is contributing to this decline.

While that might be true, I have a theory about what other factors might be contributing to this decline and what the result might be later on. You see, there are a few things that keep happening in this financial disarray we are in: Eating, Drinking, and Fucking…and the last one is the main focus of the topic at hand. Not surprised? Good.

Sex is the one major constant in the ebb and flow of this world. Somewhere in the world, someone is getting their freak on. It could be happening as I type this blog. It could be happening as YOU are reading this blog.

It could be happening after reading this sentence!

…or not. Life is funny like that.

Getting back to my theory…

The number of teens that are getting knocked up is on the decline, and has been for quite sometime, and I think that is a great thing. That’s how it should be – a teen shouldn’t become a parent before their time, and before they get their shit together. But as we are celebrating this good news, there is still one thing that we are overlooking – teens are still having sex.

While the number of teens getting knocked up is going down, teen having sex is still a constant. They never really stopped fucking. So does this mean that they are using protection? Perhaps, and rightfully so, but condoms and birth control can take you so far.

My belief, is that the actual reason there are lesser teen mom’s and dad’s has to do with anti-abortion laws, the cancelling of MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’ and the bible. It’s these three reasons that I believe have lead to the backdoor fun we love to watch in porn movies, but don’t want to admit we like it.

And there are women who love anal. Don’t you dare try to deny that shit, you all know I speak the truth damn it!

Now I know what you are thinking – “PlayBoyMan has done lost his fucking mind! – AGAIN!”, right? No not really. Keep reading, I’ll explain everything.

As I’m sure most of you will agree, anti-abortion laws are for lack of a better phrase, true donkey shit, being served by assholes who think their jobs gives them the right to tell women what they can and can’t do with their bodies (which pisses me off to no end).

And oddly, some people think that these bullshit laws will reduce the number of abortions in the states, and in turn aid in lowering the number of teens that get preggers, and having sex altogether. It’s a great plan, right? No. not really.

Anti-abortion laws just basically encourage creativity in the moment of sexual gratification. In this case – pulling out and cumming ON their partner, instead of IN.

Condoms can fail and sometimes the pill can too, so the best way to ensure that you get your freak on without slipping on past the goalie, is to aim outside the box, pun intended. If that sounds gross to you, so be it, and I’m sad that your sex life is lackluster at best…No, that wasn’t a joke, I’m sad for those of you that don’t know this. And seeing that this bullshit type of law limits your options, the alternative of making a mess, is a good idea.

Let’s move on to the cancellation of MTV’s bullshit en-masse that is ‘teen mom 3’’.

When MTV aired that crazy-stupid show, It was the start of a clusterfuck that grew in the minds of people who don’t like to use their brains, that this show is amazing, when in fact, it’s a true piece of shit…And it was not doing anyone any good. Ever since that show aired, you actually had some teens believing that it was OK to have a kid at such young an age, that it was so easy, and that they knew what they were doing. To putt it simply: ‘Teen Mom’ glamourized having a baby as a teen. To this day, despite the decline, the majority of teens who are becoming parents live in the southern United States.

Fucking Dumbasses.

Thankfully, Teens appear to be paying attention even more now, and are learning to take the proper precautions when it comes to sex. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a stupid teenager on ‘The Maury Show’, trying really hard to get a bun in the oven. I don’t miss it, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this. And have you seen those teens on that show? Fucking yikes. And who fucks for a Hamburger and a bag of chips from a fast food restaurant ? they live with their parents for fuck sakes…They can’t get a meal there, sans sex?!

Whoa wait…I’m getting off topic.

Anyway – thank you MTV – you finally did something right for a change: ending a bullshit reality TV show that shouldn’t have aired in the first place. Wait…scratch that – If that show didn’t air, we would’ve NEVER got this on DVD:


…which by the way, is a pretty good porn movie. Give it a viewing, it’s not bad, and Farrah’s tits looked better before the surgery. Yes, you did just read that. That was something I actually typed. Also, there’s anal sex in it. This fits the blog nicely, doesn’t it?

And now, let’s move on to the 3rd reason as to why I think Teens are enjoying giving up the butt – The Bible. Yes, I’m giving the bible props for teens enjoying anal sex.


No, Mr. Wonka – I am not.

You see, there is something about the Bible that a lot of people don’t get – its LOADED with contradictions. It’s goes against itself on many levels, and people who stand by this thing refuse to acknowledge that fact. God is infallible, being gay is a sin, eating bacon is 100% wrong, as is divorce…the list goes on and on and on.

But…There IS something that the bible ACTUALLY GOT RIGHT, and I, an agnostic, I’m 100% ok with it.

You see there is a loophole in the bible, that while it doesn’t like it when two guys do it, does not forbid it when a man and a woman do it.

Can you guess what it is? Come on now, the answer is RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

It’s Anal Sex. Yes. It’s true – if you are a Heterosexual couple or in a relationship, serious or casual, you can enjoy the butt sex all ya want, which makes as much sense as installing a freezer in an artic research station. I mean for serious, If you are straight, you can enjoy anal outside of marriage, but if you are gay, you can’t do it? And then you have to get married before you can have sex in the vagina, because sex outside of marriage is a sin, so either way unless you put a ring on it first, you are going to hell.

For serious, what the fuck are we doing reading this ass-backwards shit?!

Oops, I’m getting off the topic again…I think.

The bottom line is that this loophole, called “God’s Loophole”, which in this context is also a contradiction (God is infallible, thus no loopholes, remember?), is the saving grace for teenagers. It makes zero sense, has as much reason as the idea of drinking water from a toilet, and it’s the driving force as to why so many people are fucked up in the world, with the allowing teens to get their fuck on without having to take care of a baby in 9 months, which is still a sin, according to the bible.

No wonder we are all going to hell – we can’t win no matter what. Good thing I give a silent prayer to Cthulhu every now and then. I miss that dude.

This is what teens are coming to accept as the new normal. To avoid becoming parents before their time, they are OK with anal sex, and coating their lovers in cum, or maybe giving them a Anal Creampie. Yes – that’s also a thing. How do you not know this stuff?

I strongly believe that in 2014, researchers are going to discover that teenagers are having more anal sex. I think this theory of mine will be proven to be accurate, and the churches will be powerless to say anything about it, because it’s not forbidden in the bible to do that, unless you are gay, then it’s wrong.

Man, that bible is a really fucked up book.

And there it is. The end of the last blog for 2013. I hope 2014 is full of awesomeness for all of us, and I thank you for reading my blog. I hope you enjoyed it.

Happy New Year!


There wasn’t a lot of boobies or butts in this blog, so I’d thought I’d rewards ya with one of my favorite YouTube videos. Here’s “Because Boobs” by Psychostick, a song about boobs. Enjoy.